This was an eventful week.

I’ve been busy and tired, but good.

Voices have been acting up but not terribly bad, they’ve just been mildly annoying.

Just mainly while I’m out on walks, like they do.

They did better again this morning when I was out and about, they were quieter.

Last night I just heard a couple of sentences here and there while walking.

And then I heard some talking through the windows that wasn’t really there too.

That was the most annoying because it went on for a while, but no one was outside, I checked.

So it was frustrating, but fleeting, thank goodness.

I’ve been taking my Haloperidol again this week.

I took half tablets daily last week, and upped it back up to a full tablet daily this week due to the procedure.

Anesthetics always fuck me up for a few days.

And I could feel the stress levels in me rising over the weekend.

So I figured I should nip this shit and bump my Haloperidol back up before I regret it.

On Tuesday this week I had my first vein ablation procedure.

It was on my GSV on my left leg.

They put me under for the procedure and I was out for almost an hour.

I woke up to very little pain.

I was very worried about the amount of pain after the procedure with the burning of the vein, but I just felt a little stiff for about a day and the area feels slightly bruised.

Aftercare is pretty straight forward.

I have to wear compression socks.

Which I hate socks in general, so it’s torture.

But, I ended up buying some with no toes and they’re so much more tolerable.

I even bought some thigh high ones seeing as how the vein goes from crotch to ankle, and it’s really quite more comfortable than the knee high ones, so I’ve been wearing that one with my shorts.

(It’s in the 90’s already anyway outside, yikes.)

So it works.

The other big aftercare component is walking.

I have to walk for ten minutes every hour.

Wednesday I walked over 12,000 steps.

I thought that Thursday would be more of the same, maybe a touch less because I had a doctors appointment in the morning and had to drive to San Antonio which took an hour and a half or so round trip after all was said and done, but I did over 14,000 steps.

Like holy shit!

The amazing thing is, about this vein ablation, is that my left leg – the leg the first procedure was done on, is already feeling a pain reduction.

It’s fucking phenomenal.

The first night I felt pretty normal, just kinda swollen and a touch stiff.

I was bandaged up really tightly for the first 36 hours too.

But I woke up on Wednesday morning, the day after the procedure, feeling a significant pain and ache reduction in my left leg in comparison to my right.

I get the whole super achy and stiff arthritis legs when I wake up and it takes me a few minutes to get moving properly.

Well turns out I think that’s because my blood isn’t flowing properly.

I think a lot of my pain and swelling in my legs has been coming from these fucking veinous insufficiencies.

The ultrasound technician who did the follow up for me on Thursday this week told me venous insufficiency is a sneaky and silent ailment.

He said so many people have these core issues, specifically leg swelling and pain, and have no idea where it’s coming from.

They’ve tried everything, and they’ve done everything they can and nothing helps, until they realize they have vein insufficiency through a curious, attentive doctor and an ultrasound.

Which is exactly what happened to me.

I almost didn’t do the ultrasound months back!

I thought they weren’t gonna find anything because I had one several years ago but then they were just looking for blood clots.

I figured it was a waste of time and money because a lot of my swelling had gone down with taking the Gabapentin out of my regimine anyway.

But that didn’t explain the constant swelling of my legs all of the other times, for all the other years.

So I’m so glad my doctor was so curious and concerned about the swelling and discoloration of my legs.

And total I have to have four procedures.

The next one will be the big GSV on my right leg.

Then they’ll do the SSV on my left leg, then the SSV on my right.

I had the choice to go back and forth on the legs and I decided to do it.

I figure a couple of things; first, it’ll give my leg some time to recover between the procedures, and second it gives me some relief in my right leg for the time being too.

So it’s a win win really.

The one thing I really really have to look out for is the effects of the anesthesia.

I had a self harming incident Wednesday morning, the morning after the procedure, about 20 hours after anesthesia.

I know it’s from the heavy drugs, the self harming.

I was crying and flustered and upset at nothing and I knew it was at nothing and I couldn’t contain it and I was mad at myself because I wasn’t going to go to group that morning and we don’t have group next week so now I’m missing two weeks in a row and fuck I mean I feel alright but I am fucking cranky as shit and I couldn’t function properly and what if someone says the wrong thing to me and what if I start crying and I can’t go when I’m like this and I was so fucking upset with myself.

This is exactly why I upped the Haloperidol.

To avoid this shit.

Oh well.

At least I didn’t dwell on it.

At least it was quick.

I did it, and cried about it for a few minutes, but didn’t berate myself about it for an hour or two like I usually do.

I recognized it was probably from the anesthetics, took some deep breaths.

Bruce had come over, so I petted him for a while and just tried to relax for a minute.

I was trying to do way too much the day after a procedure.

Even if the procedure was non invasive, it’s still a procedure and my body is still in a slight state of shock from it.

They shut down the biggest vein in my leg.

It’s okay.

It’s okay.

I own the book that we’re reading in group.

I can catch up.

Later that day a friend from group texted me the notes, so I didn’t miss but the conversation, which is important, but not the end of the world.

So it ended up being fine.

I just get overwhelmed and act out on myself and I know the drugs didn’t help.

I’m glad that behavior is getting fewer and further between.

But anesthesia is no joke.

That shit is strong.

You don’t feel it feel it afterwards, but it’s in the undercurrent.

So I have got to take it easy for the rest of the procedures. 

I have to be easy on myself the following day and not push too hard.

It looks like they’ll always be on a Tuesday, and group is always on a Wednesday, so that’s something that I’m just going to have to deal with.

Other than the self harming though it was a successful week and a successful procedure.

I was so nervous for it and it ended up being totally fine and practically pain free.

I’m honestly excited for my right leg to be done.

– Keren