Tag: symptoms
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Reframing
I’ve been feeling good the past week. So good I’m on edge waiting for my symptoms to take hold again. It makes me antsy when I have several decent days in a row like I have been this week. Wait, the lack of symptoms makes me uncomfortable because I know what they’re capable of. See,…
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I Have to Balance
I was wondering about my symptoms that broke through last week. Once they started to quiet a little, I could think again. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since it happened actually. And I’m pretty sure that the recent bout of breakthrough symptoms was from attempting to socialize last week. And not just that,…
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The Wash and Fade
I’ve been feeling very, very blah this week. My Invega injection makes me so tired now that I don’t know what to do. I was resting most of this week because i couldn’t do anything else. And that feeling gets old. Throughout it all I’ve still been having breakthrough symptoms. The hallucinations posing as my…
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Bouncing Between Delusions (and Hallucinations)
I got my Invega injection today. And I honestly couldn’t wait for it. I’ve been having some breakthrough symptoms this last weekend. And last week. It felt like all the peace I had with the six or so day run of very few symptoms, disappeared. Quickly at that. It gets exhausting, bouncing back and forth…
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Chatty
I used to be so chatty. I worked retail most all my life, so being paid to be a social butterfly was a good fit for me. But that’s all changed now. And since, I’ve noticed a change in myself too. It’s been ongoing for a while now. Years even. I’ve noticed that I don’t…
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“Anosognosia” and Delusions
I’m forty years old. And I didn’t understand that the voices I hear are actually hallucinations, until I was thirty eight. I thought they were my thoughts. My internal system. The paranormal. The voices are a nonstop discourse of layered timbres and volumes. They loop over one another. Commenting on my every thought. My every…
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Invalidation: A Rant
When someone is dismissive of my mental illness issues and symptoms, it’s invalidating. It makes me feel as if I’m the one in the wrong. I’m making all this up. That it is just an invisible hurdle. That only I can see. And that’s not good enough for all of my “laziness”. Or inability to…
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Eye Shimmy (Voluntary Nystagmus) and Other Signs
I know my world is much different from what typical people have. Especially when a psychotic episode is around the corner. I’m finally noticing little signs. Signs that I need to keep an eye on. My hallucinations flare up. Every time I get even slightly stressed out. I’m learning that I have a very low…
A Delusional Predisposition 