Category: mood tracker
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Self Care
I’m still struggling with the emptiness. It’s so abundant. My symptoms of hallucinations and delusions have been very quiet the past several days. It’s odd because it’s not that I miss them when they’re gone. It’s just that, from everywhere, comes such a deafening silence. A sort of calm just before the storm rolls in.…
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Daylio
Daylio is the name of my mood app. It’s an eye opening tool for me. I can track different moods that I have throughout the day. I can apply whatever “activity” or symptoms within those different moods. Everything is super customizable. But I did pay the $24 for a year’s subscription. And no, I’m not…
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Changes
During the past month I’ve been noticing that I have very high blood pressure and quite a bit of chest pains. I didn’t even think about them being from my Seroquel until last Friday. I noticed that overall, I hadn’t been feeling well lately, especially within these last couple of weeks. I didn’t think too…
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Therapy
I have been in and out of talk therapy for quite some time. I was made to go when I was younger. Because, even at a young age, the darkness and doom engulfed my core being. I was originally sent to talk to a middle aged woman named Judy. I remember having to draw my…
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Splitting
I can easily split into a completely different version of myself. Splitting turns me into a person that has an impossible time separating my behaviors from my personality. It’s like my emotions completely take over my mind and body and I lose control of my actions. It feels like someone else is behind the wheel. …
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Medications: Part One
My Seroquel dose was upped again this week. I’m writing this entry through very heavy eyelids. A big downfall for me has always been how exhausted my psych meds can make me. I have taken Synthroid every day since birth, but, psych meds are on a totally different level for me. They work much deeper…
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The Start
When I’m in a high stress situation, I shut down or switch over or snap or split. These actions are attempts at self preservation – and also surface from subconscious neurological misfirings. It’s fear of abandonment. It’s fear of rejection. It’s self sabotage. It’s self loathing. It’s pushing someone I love away because it’s easier…
A Delusional Predisposition 