I haven’t been having many symptoms lately.

It’s scary honestly.

I don’t know when they’ll surface again.

It’s like I’m on a rollercoaster, right at the top of a big hill, after you’ve gotten past all the clicks, and you are just sitting at the top, waiting for the drop.

I still have some murmurs and some music.

I heard music at my parents house yesterday.

Random music in the background, with the DJ murmur in between songs.

So it’s not all gone.

And I highly doubt it will ever be all gone.

But I haven’t heard a full sentence from the voices in weeks now.

I’ll walk Bruce and not hear much of anything at all.

It’s nice.

But it is freighting all at once.

Wondering when the shit will hit the fan.

Wondering when they’ll come back.

When they’ll be thick again.

I’ve noticed that my mind is able to wander lately.

I haven’t been focusing on the paranoid thoughts and patterns as much as I used to.

And I’ve been noticing the birds lately.

Their songs bring about a sense of calmness in me.

It’s amazing what I’ve been missing all of these years.

Not that I never heard the birds, because I did.

But I’ve never really gotten the chance to focus on them like I’ve been able to the past few weeks.

It’s been nice.

I can’t help but notice that my diet changes have been helping me gain some of this clarity.

(Along with the high doses, 3x day of Niacin and Vitamin C) 

I’ve cut out refined sugar, dairy, gluten, corn and soy from my diet.

And I’ve honestly been surprised I’ve been able to stick to it.

But it’s amazing what you can do when you do something that makes you feel so much better.

And I’ve been feeling so much less lethargic during the day.

I don’t even want to take naps anymore.

They’re not even on my mind anymore.

I’m no longer awaiting sleep everyday.

I’m able to focus on a topic and really retain more of the information – much better than I was able to while eating the inflammatory foods.

I’ve been listening to an audio book and have been able to recall previous topics when I get in the car.

Something I wasn’t able to do several months ago.

Along that same line – I’m shocked at my ability to follow subject matters now.

It’s gotten much easier to follow conversations I’m in.

I can think and remember what I wanted to say while retaining most of what’s being said.

My pain levels fluctuate a bit better and aren’t nearly as constantly intense as they once were.

I notice a huge difference whit cutting out the refined sugars.

My pain levels are still extremely intense at times, don’t read that wrong, but I now do have a couple more better days a month.

I’ve been googling everything that’s been happening to me.

The inflammation reduction with the diet changes, the Niacin and Vitamin C combination, and everything.

There’s not a lot of reach done in recent years.

The reach that was done, in the 1950’s, noted that it was a “cure” for schizophrenia.

And I want to make it abundantly clear that just because these things have been working wonderfully for me, that does not mean that they are a “cure” for schizophrenia spectrum disorders.

These changes will not work for everyone.

Period.

The Niacin and Vitamin C are working for me because I must have pretty significant deficiencies in both of these vitamins.

Cutting out the inflammatory food groups is working for me because I have been struggling with high CRP levels for decades and have been a “mystery patient” when it comes to my bilateral arthritis and inflammation issues.

I have always doubted if my diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis is legit or not, due to the fact that I really only deal with the aspects of; arthritis, inflammation and pain, all over my body, and none of the other immune issues.

So, these changes for me do not, in any way, equate to a “cure” for schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder.

They are another tool that I am using, in conjunction with my regular medication, that is helping me reduce my medication doses, and live a healthier life.

And I am doing all of this under doctor supervision, with regular lab work and regular office visits.

So please, do not read this and think that this is the end of anything, it’s only the beginning.

If you struggle with mental illness and would like to try an anti-inflammatory diet, or supplementation, please do!

But bring a doctor into the mix, and please do bloodwork and do it correctly.

Even supplements can get toxic.

And if you do these changes, and don’t notice a change, then they won’t work for you.

And you’re in the section of folks with mental illness that these types of things don’t work for, that sucks, and I’m so sorry.

But don’t invalidate those they do work for.

Because there are others out there that these techniques work for, and we shouldn’t be pushed aside, mocked or mistrusted just because doing something like cutting out a food group or taking a vitamin or mineral then reduces or eliminates a symptom.

Because it’s easy to read what I’m saying and dismiss it for an episode or symptoms.

That I’m just sputtering away, on a rampage of an episode and preaching nonsense.

And I’m telling you, that’s far from it.

I’ve been feeling better off the Haloperidol than I was on it.

The Niacin and Vitamin C are cutting my symptoms down better than the Haloperidol did.

I don’t know how it’s working or why it’s working so well – other than I must’ve had a pretty significant deficiency.

The only thing I can really find, beyond Pellagra, or a subclinical pellagra (which I can’t find much research on) is Orthomolecular Treatments which is 100% on track with what my functional medicine doctor has me doing supplement wise.

But Orthomolecular Medicine is considered, basically, bullshit and batshit by mainstream medicine.  

Even though the article linked above ends with saying that the Orthomolecular treatments should be used alongside traditional medical treatments.

It’s not saying that it’s a standalone “cure”.

It’s saying, again, that it’s a tool – that may or may not be helpful.

But in all honesty, it comes down to non FDA approved treatments, right?

And I could get super into some conspiracy theories about it, but I’ll spare y’all that, ha!

I don’t really have a point to this entry other than this; do what works for you.

If something “out there” works well to control your symptoms, use that tool.

It doesn’t matter if someone else thinks that it’s utter bullshit.

Fuck what people think.

If it’s working for you, use it.

There are so many tools out there too.

There’s earplugs, headphones, sunglasses, vitamins, supplements, herbs, meditation, white noise machines, diet changes, changes in any aspect of your life; getting rid of that shitty “friend”, inviting the nice barista out to a movie, start a conversation with a family member, cut out a family member, whatever it is that you need to do for you, do it.

Whatever is going to help your symptoms improve, do it.

Fuck what anyone thinks.

I guess what I’m saying is that not just medicine can make you feel better, ya know?

Other things can make you feel better.

Medicine might be the only thing to take your symptoms away – the voices, the delusions, that may be true.

I’m for sure still on my Paliperidone.

I don’t know where I’d be without it besides probably dead. 

I’m on a bunch of other medications too still.

But I’m hoping to lower some of my doses soon.

There are other things that you can do in life that’ll ease your pain too.

And if it’s non FDA approved, or non-traditional, that’s okay.

Half of my regimen right now is non FDA approved, and I’m feeling better than I was when I was on their approved items.

Go figure.

Just do you.

-Keren