So, I had my latest procedure, a vein ablation this last week, last Tuesday.

They did the other GSV, in my right leg this time.

And at the follow up ultrasound appointment last Friday, a week ago, I was told everything looked as it should post procedure.

So that’s awesome.

Now my SSV’s are next, but then the big surprise was that I have more than a few varicose veins that need to be “filled with foam” John, the ultrasound tech kept saying.

I found out that that’s called sclerotherapy.

They take a chemical solution and fill your varicose veins with it, and it closes them off, and ”kills” them basically.

So the risk of DVT or venous ulcers and other issues subsides.

So instead of having 2 more procedures, he said I’m closer to having 5 more.

Fuck.

Seriously.

Here I go I guess.

Here goes something.

The recovery process is such a fucking bitch.

I have to elevate my leg while I’m not walking.

And I have to walk for 10 min every hour for at least 2-3 weeks.

But I try to do 4 weeks just to be safe.

It’s not like your body knows when at least 2 weeks is up and it just miraculously has all of the little veins up and pumping at that time.

It takes time and patience to get my legs back to normal.

I honestly don’t know if they’ve ever been normal.

Not like this, not in a very, very long time.

Decades even.

So I just have to keep up on the walking.

It’s amazing because I was a “mystery patient” (the doctor’s words) for decades with my leg swelling and pain, and no one thought about circulation issues until this year.

Not one doctor thought to do an ultrasound and check my veins until now.

It doesn’t explain everything I deal with, but it explains some of it.

Like some other diagnoses in my life, I wish doctors would’ve seen this sooner than now.

But what can I do about it now, but deal with it?

Oh yeah, talking about procedures, I also have my next lumbar ablation on Friday, August 8th, which I need to rest for a few days after, so I will get a chance to rest then.

I won’t be able to really walk that much for a few days, I won’t want to.

But then it’s right back at it.

And then my next vein ablation is Tuesday, August 19th, where they start in on the SSV on my left leg.

So there’s not much down time at all.

The swelling is already down in my right leg.

So that’s amazing.

When I got out of the shower tonight, just a couple of days after the procedure, my right leg didn’t drag over the tub edge like it has been doing.

I was actually able to bend it enough to clear the tub edge.

So that’s huge.

And I wasn’t on the muscle relaxer either.

I think those didn’t help my last psychotic episode, the muscle relaxers, the Tizanidine. 

It didn’t exclusively cause it, but they for sure didn’t help.

I think it was a perfect storm type situation.

A lot of things lined up at the same time to make that episode happen.

And it would’ve happened if I’d been on them or not.

But they for sure egged it on, made it worse.

I’m still amazed as to how traditional that last psychotic episode was for me, and how I couldn’t see it while in it.

That’s what scares me.

Well, I knew something was wrong.

I knew I was in some sort of episode.

I just couldn’t place what it was.

But looking back my paranoia was rampant and destructive. 

I was putting words in peoples mouths because I “knew” what they were “really trying to say”.

Which, to an extent, maybe true, right?

To an extent, someone may write a text with a double meaning.

But, looking back, there wasn’t any hidden meaning.

I know I just talked about it more again in my last entry.

I didn’t touch on all the things I wanted to in the first one.

Bit back on my physical notes, my knees and ankles and feet have been achy lately.

They all have been having this sharp, shooting pain that comes and goes, usually in the morning and then again towards the end of the day.

Normally I have to put my numbing cream on at night, every night on my knees and left big toe, while I’m just sitting on the couch after I’m done walking.

And my walking is done on the treadmill.

Slow and steady and easy.

Nothing too fast or angled or difficult, no resistance, no hills.

About half of the time my knees have shooting pain while walking so I have got to move slow, I don’t have a choice.

The other part of the time my big toe on my left side has this terrible shooting pain that slides up my shin.

Good thing it comes and goes because if that shit was constant, like it gets with my flares, I’d die.

And I’m wondering now, and after I do my SSV’s, how often I’ll flare up.

I bet it’ll still happen.

It’s not like these vein ablations have miraculously taken away my arthritis or anything.

They have helped my pain levels in my legs though.

I’ve noticed that my legs – what I always thought was my arthritis in the morning, aren’t as stiff as they used to be after just doing these first rounds of vein ablations.

But the shooting, aching, bone on bone is still there in my joints.

Just the muscle soreness, the overall achiness has faded quite a bit now with the closing of the GSV’s on both legs.

Time will tell what will happen next, but it seems promising.

My ankle aches are worse at night too.

It’s like they hold off for some of the morning but the afternoon hits and they become achier as the day goes on.

Same with my knees.

And this left big toe, fuck my life, this thing sucks.

It just kills me over half the day.

I find myself walking on the side of my foot because of it at times.

My gait is off because of it.

It’s very frustrating.

And I have to keep walking, otherwise I’m at risk for blood clots right now.

So I‘ll keep moving.

But, I gotta say, it is wild how much I can see a difference in the reduction of swelling already in my right leg.

I know I already said that, but I want to talk about it more.

My compression sock was super tight the first day, I debated tearing my room apart looking for the bigger sized one that I know I have somewhere, but I didn’t.

I was hoping the swelling would be down in a day or two.

And it was.

Today is day 5 after the procedure (now it’s day 10), and the compression sock is fitting just fine now.

I can feel the biggest difference in my calf and foot.

I had to retie my walking shoe the first day after the procedure.

My shoes are always tied the same way and I had to retie them, tighten them up on the right side the day after, so that’s great.

That’s a good sign, means the swelling is coming down.

My slip on shoes are loosey goosey now too, which is kinda disappointing because I love the shoes, but exciting nonetheless.

And instead of my calves being hard as a rock and wide as hell, they’re getting softer and narrower. 

Even my skin is softening up already – it was getting scaly to the touch from the circulation issues.

My legs are looking much more natural – not as stuffed and stiff looking.

Last week, prior to the procedure, I put on a pair of leggings and they were so tight over my right leg I couldn’t stand the feeling – I had to take them off and put my shorts back on.

It was that tight.

Fucking intense.

So that should be going away now too, which is great.

I’m excited for the reduction in swelling but it’s also hard to be excited with Bruce being so sick.

He did eat some of his prescription food yesterday.

It was the first day trying the kidney diet food and he did eat some of it so that was good.

Mr Picky Pants actually ate some of it.

I just have been feeling so sad about him, with him, whatever you wanna call it.

He doesn’t even really want to walk right now.

I’m letting him rest.

The vet put him on steroids and he had a bad reaction to them and then the vet wanted to discuss end of life stuff.

I just tapered him off the steroids, he was only on for a few days and am letting him rest.

My poor best friend.

There’s literally nothing I can do.

And it breaks my fucking heart.

He seems to be in better spirits now.

He seems cognizant of his surroundings and of what’s going on.

He’s eating and drinking still too, which is great, a really good sign.

So we’re taking it one day at a time right now.

I’m just keeping him comfortable, that’s the goal.

I’m trying to not let him see me cry because he’ll worry if he sees me cry and he’ll comfort me, and I don’t need him worrying about me worrying about him.

So I keep putting on my brave face and voice for him.

Today I’m tired of procedures, yet grateful for them at the same time.

Mixed emotions for sure when you throw in Bruce too.

Before I posted this a few more days have passed and Bruce seems tired for sure, but he’s in much better spirits as the days pass without being on the steroids.

I’ll take all the good I can get.

-Keren