You just read it, it happened.

That’s the whole story, really.

Motherfuckers got all of my photos lost/disabled now and I’m so fucking pissed about it.

I cried hard about it when it happened.

And I totally self harmed too.

I hit my head so hard my gauged plug went flying out of my right ear.

My cable was glitchy the other day too and I can’t help but notice that my PayPal got hacked last week too.

Motherfuckers.

This isn’t psychosis, right?

At least I didn’t have to pay the $113 and some change bullshit that they charged to my PayPal account.

But it feels like someone’s out to get me.

But I don’t think they’re out to get me again….right?

That didn’t even happen in reality last time, right?

That’s not happening now?

Fuck!

Because the last time something like this happened, I was the culprit and was in psychosis.

And I can’t help but think that I’ve done something wrong to create the suspended/deleted/hacked fb account.

But the only thing I can do is what I’ve done and tell Facebook what’s going on and hope for the best.

Email email email.

I doubt I’ll get it back, but it could happen.

I see some people are actually suing Facebook for their profiles.

I’m glad my blog entries are here and not there.

That would’ve been devastating.

I have backups of these.

But I didn’t for my Facebook photos and friends list.

How am I going to find everyone again?

All of that is gone now and I can’t help but think that’s just my fucking luck.

Leave it to me for everything to be going alright again to me getting my fb hacked and deleted.

I can’t help but go back to the fact that I don’t deserve good things so obviously, this would happen.

Why didn’t I see it fucking coming?

I knew something was going to break soon.

It had to.

My life is constant fucking chaos.

And this just really checks out.

All of this just drives me crazy and I can’t help the idea of just being done with things.

Done with everything.

This is the type of shit that could push someone over a ledge.

Be the last straw type of shit.

I’m already so isolated down here and now I can’t go to my fb friends, which are all of my friends.

I can’t do that now.

I started a new page but it’s not the same.

My photos from France are gone now.

All of my photos of both of my grandma’s, all of the memories.

I didn’t think losing fb would be this brutal, but it’s quite fucking heartbreaking.

My symptoms have been hit or miss lately because of this stressful shit.

Yesterday I was good till like midday and then the voices started up for a bit.

I kept hearing a femalesque voice saying “she’s wearing that?” and “she’s disabled, she can’t do that” and similar type topics of things, looping.

I heard someone actually out on their little patio area today, on the second floor, and it wasn’t exactly the same with what I hear with the voices.

This was clearer somehow, so I looked and there was someone sitting outside on the phone.

But I couldn’t find a real difference between the two.

But I try to prove things to myself like that.

If the voices don’t sound like that, they’re a hallucination.

But then it happens again and I can’t tell the difference.

The voices are impossible to compare with reality because that’s like comparing bees and iguanas.

Totally fucking different, but both alive and real.

They’re both things that have eyes, but they don’t see the same things.

They have their own filters they see through, just like everything in the world.

I still have a bit of an achy head from the self harm.

I’m mad at myself for acting out like that, but even more mad at meta because none of them cares that my fb was hacked and disabled.

The parts of me that are still healing are thick and saying “let it go”, be like fucking Elsa and just let that shit go.

There’s quite literally nothing I can do about it.

I tried to login and become “meta verified” so I could chat with someone.

Paid the $15 or whatever it was, just to not be able to do it because an old phone number is attached to my disabled fb account and I can’t remove it or have them use my new number which can’t be verified because it’s on the hacked fb page too.

FML, right?

It’s all a giant catch 22.

I’ve been all over Reddit this morning trying to figure this out and I just am at my wits end.

Most people are having to sue fb to get their shit back and I can’t do that.

If anyone is “meta verified”, let me know!

The new fb page says it was originally created in November of 2021.

When I was knee deep in psychosis.

When I thought I lost my fb to stalkers and was moved to a different state.

I swear I’m not in psychosis today, and my Facebook is gone.

– Keren