A Delusional Predisposition

habits

  • When My Anger Shows

    I get so frustrated with myself. I’m still mad at myself. About raising my voice at the dentist’s office the other day. I hate that I do that shit. It’s super unhealthy. I don’t know why I do it. I… Continue reading

    When My Anger Shows

  • Emotional Eating

    I always denied being an emotional eater. But I eat all the time. I’m usually not even hungry when I do. I’m also sad all the time. And angry. And anxious. So it can all blend together. But honestly, I… Continue reading

    Emotional Eating

  • Patterns of Good and Bad

    Now that I don’t eat cheese. I see tons of commercials for it. Every style. Every type. Pizza commercials are the worst. It’s torture. I just get so uncomfortable. And it’s apparent directly after eating it. So much so that… Continue reading

    Patterns of Good and Bad

  • An Empty Parking Lot

    I feel as though I’ve helped destroy my life. Well, let me rephrase that. I feel as though mental illness has helped destroy my life. My symptoms. My lack of decent behaviors. My shit coping mechanisms. My complete lack of… Continue reading

    An Empty Parking Lot

  • The Bigger Picture

    I feel like there are so many things I haven’t been able to comprehend. Especially over the span of my lifetime. I know I’ve said things like this in past entries too. And it’s tough to describe. But not many… Continue reading

    The Bigger Picture

  • Climbing Out of an Episode

    Everything was really rough for around ten to twelve days. I finally started snapping out of it on Thursday. My therapist is convinced that my neighbor accusing me triggered me into an episode. I agree with her. Honestly, things had… Continue reading

    Climbing Out of an Episode

  • Some Things Are Clicking

    I was watching Modern Family today and heard a line that really struck me. A coworker of one of the main characters said “I eat garbage because I am garbage”. And that is exactly why I struggle with my weight.… Continue reading

    Some Things Are Clicking

  • Habits

    I’m trying to reframe things in my mind as the weekend is about to hit again. I’ve just been so frustrated with everything the past few weeks. Everything kind of collapsed. I had to just sit and let the anger… Continue reading

    Habits