I’ve had a terrible cold this week, so pardon me if this entry is not too terribly long or interesting.

I honestly don’t have much to say I guess, I’ve been coughing and trying to rest, so we’ll see how far along I get with this.

My voices have been acting up a touch with me and this cold.

It seems like anytime something even just a touch stressful shows up, my mental illness symptoms are pouncing on me.

Yesterday was pretty stressful with this cold, now that I think about it.

I went to the doctors and the prescriptions they sent in were sent to two different pharmacies and then I had to bug them three different times throughout the day yesterday to make sure my inhaler was called in.

(That was the goal of seeing a doc, an inhaler.)

Because I feel like I can’t breathe with this wheezing.

I keep saying it’s a cold because the doc did a Covid and flu test when I was there, and just like the home test, it was negative.

(thank fuck.)

But my symptoms, all of them, are just wretched.

Horrible wheezing breathing and tons of phlegm in my sinuses and honestly I have been fairly dizzy this week too.

Too many things happening at once and they’re all shitty.

I just feel raw and beaten up on the inside of my body.

I got sick this morning even from the phlegm rolling down my esophagus.

Sorry if that’s TMI.

It probably is huh…

Thank goodness my chest doesn’t hurt, and I hope I didn’t say that too soon.

But as much as all of these symptoms are hitting me at once, all I want to do is sleep it all off.

I just want to hibernate till it’s all gone.

But I keep waking up.

All throughout the last few nights I’ve been waking up because of the wheezing breathing.

I feel like I can’t get a full breath when I’m awake, I don’t expect that to change while sleeping, but it doesn’t have to get worse like that, damn!

I just want to not feel like shit.

If it’s not my body fighting with itself, it’s an outside influence doing the damage.

I was trying to write at least a half of an entry, but I think I’m going to have to cut it off here.

My ability to type isn’t going that well and I don’t want to stare at a screen writing gibberish just to try to make a typical entry when it’s not there.

So I leave you here this week.

Happy New Year.

– Keren