A Delusional Predisposition

understanding

  • Disconnections

    I realized I had a tooth ache on Sunday. I say that because I knew something was off. I knew my cheek had been sore. The past week or two. I’ve noticed some chewing issues. But it didn’t click. It… Continue reading

    Disconnections

  • Medications: Part Five

    After my Invega injections I feel much, much, much more like myself. Whoever that is anymore. I got one this last Friday. And I feel a night and day difference. My anger dissipates. I’m calmer. I’m reserved. Reflective. Pensive. Even… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Five

  • Randomly Consistent

    I have a hard time remembering what I was just going to say. It’s like my brain just stops. Or backtracks. And I go completely blank. A lot of times it never comes back to me. But sometimes I can… Continue reading

    Randomly Consistent

  • Enhancing My Misery

    Through the struggle of keeping my darkness at bay. My body is rebelling. Friday the tenth was my fifth and final bilateral knee injection of the series of five that I had to get. Every Friday. For the past five… Continue reading

    Enhancing My Misery

  • Emotional Eating

    I always denied being an emotional eater. But I eat all the time. I’m usually not even hungry when I do. I’m also sad all the time. And angry. And anxious. So it can all blend together. But honestly, I… Continue reading

    Emotional Eating

  • Patterns of Good and Bad

    Now that I don’t eat cheese. I see tons of commercials for it. Every style. Every type. Pizza commercials are the worst. It’s torture. I just get so uncomfortable. And it’s apparent directly after eating it. So much so that… Continue reading

    Patterns of Good and Bad

  • Appointment Reminders

    My mental health clinic texts me appointment reminders. And since they got this service. I have been getting SO many reminder texts. I honestly thought that they had plugged my phone number into a place holder account or something. Because… Continue reading

    Appointment Reminders

  • Dreams and Nightmares

    Some days I just wait to go to sleep. All day long. All week long. All month long. All year long. I usually wake up at the same time everyday. And I try to go to sleep around the same… Continue reading

    Dreams and Nightmares

  • An Empty Parking Lot

    I feel as though I’ve helped destroy my life. Well, let me rephrase that. I feel as though mental illness has helped destroy my life. My symptoms. My lack of decent behaviors. My shit coping mechanisms. My complete lack of… Continue reading

    An Empty Parking Lot

  • The Bigger Picture

    I feel like there are so many things I haven’t been able to comprehend. Especially over the span of my lifetime. I know I’ve said things like this in past entries too. And it’s tough to describe. But not many… Continue reading

    The Bigger Picture