medication
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Random Surfacing
The voices never really go away. I’ve been having a good week, but they’re still there. As frustrating as that is. They get worse at night. Once it hits the time where the sun starts to go down, it’s like… Continue reading
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Visual Hallucinations
I’m having a hard time letting myself just be today. I’m tired. Which probably doesn’t help. I feel like I should be doing more of something. But I don’t know what. And I don’t have the energy right now, anyway.… Continue reading
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Medications: Part Six
I was just sitting here thinking and realized that my having a better mood is directly coinciding with the rate at which my immunosuppressants for my arthritis have been working. It’s been about eight weeks of the weekly methotrexate and… Continue reading
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The Wash and Fade
I’ve been feeling very, very blah this week. My Invega injection makes me so tired now that I don’t know what to do. I was resting most of this week because i couldn’t do anything else. And that feeling gets… Continue reading
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Bouncing Between Delusions (and Hallucinations)
I got my Invega injection today. And I honestly couldn’t wait for it. I’ve been having some breakthrough symptoms this last weekend. And last week. It felt like all the peace I had with the six or so day run… Continue reading
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Thoughts vs Auditory Hallucinations
I know it may be a bit hard to imagine what auditory hallucinations sound like. Believe me, I wish that no one would ever experience them. Ever. I wish it wasn’t even an option. But unfortunately it is. And I’d… Continue reading
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Navigating My Mental Healthcare: Part Two
I can’t even tell you how many therapists and psychiatrists I’ve seen over the years. Dozens. Easily. I currently deal with a doctor that doesn’t really believe me. He gives me the right medications. But when we talk he is… Continue reading
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A Situation
This week was awesome. I had a dear friend visit for most of it. I got to see the beauty. And the power of the ocean. And friendship. It was a great week. I did have symptoms during it. At… Continue reading
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The Luxury
I noticed that I’m starting to be aware of the weather again. It’s been sunny. Then rainy. Then sunny. Then rainy. All week. I’ve been noticing the shifts in temperature. And the bright shades of green pouring out of the… Continue reading
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Inflammation
It’s always there. Inflammation is. I feel puffy. Everywhere. And do almost all the time. It’s gotten better since I cut out dairy products. But good lort. It can calm down anytime now. But I know it won’t without medication.… Continue reading
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The Blockage
It’s been three weeks. Only. And already. Three weeks since I started the daily Risperidone tablets. And only about one week since starting it twice a day. My goodness! How quickly my mood. And ability to think. Changed. In that… Continue reading
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The Birds
Things have been really quiet this weekend again. Which is surprising. I get my injection on Tuesday. And I’m kinda thrilled for it. Normally by now the radio noise would’ve merged into voices. And they would’ve been incessant. But today… Continue reading
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Medication Adjustments
This is my 70th entry. This one right here. I never thought I’d continue to follow through with this blog. It’s rewarding. Therapeutic. Satisfying. And I’m getting quite proud of my continued growth. I was looking at some of my… Continue reading
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2020
I’ve been pretty reflective the past couple days. I’m glad to be able to be today. It’s not always an option for me. I was thinking about my divorce. It was finalized three years ago last month. I was thinking… Continue reading
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A Sense of Myself
I have had a significant decrease in symptoms this week. Like, night and day difference. That Risperidone that was added a few weeks ago. Is amazing. In combination with the Invega. Flooring. I’m shook by how much better I feel.… Continue reading
A Delusional Predisposition 