A Delusional Predisposition
TRIGGER WARNING: mental illness topics discussed, adult language used throughout
weekly writings of daily life
with mental illness.
stigmas shattered.
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Mutating Appropriately
I met with the new-for-me NP at the mental health clinic I go to. The appointment went really well. I felt heard, finally. I was able to take in what was being said. I didn’t have a flood of uncontrollable… Continue reading
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Loaded Questions
I have been very awkward in public lately. I’m terrified of people talking to me. Or about me. Probably because I always feel like people are talking about me. One harmless side glance starts a wave of paranoid thoughts through… Continue reading
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Inner Voices
It’s been long enough that I don’t feel like I’ll ruin it if I bring it up now. My inner voices have been beautifully silent lately. It’s been about three weeks now. These are not the same voices I have… Continue reading
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My Exhaustion
There are nights where I get plenty of solid sleep and still wake up exhausted. I know that part of this is my depression. But another part of my sleepiness is now from being overwhelmed with the difference of my… Continue reading
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Retail, Behavior and Social Skills
I always say that I’m not social anymore because of all of the years of retail I’ve worked. So, so many years of constant human interaction. Bad days, good days, sick days, it doesn’t matter. I have had to interact… Continue reading
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Friends
I have no desire to have friends right now. I can’t tell if I’m telling myself that because I don’t have many at all, or because it’s a real thing. But I really don’t have the capability to be a… Continue reading
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My [in]Ability to Think
I was approved to see another NP at the clinic I go to. I’m glad it moved so quickly. And I’m glad the clinic I go to let me get a second opinion with another provider. I’m just so unsure… Continue reading
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My Voices and Forest
In the recent past, my delusions grew and got loud enough to impact every aspect of my life. I have a tendency to become obsessed with certain topics – mainly people and conversations between us, actually. Especially a specific line… Continue reading
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Transition of Thought
My psychosis episodes warp everything. They pop up out of nowhere and run my entire life until they wear out. Then it can get quiet for a few days. Then it ramps right back up into me. I have been… Continue reading
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Finding Parts of Myself
Everyday something new happens. Or at least, I notice something new about myself. Like how dairy and I haven’t coexisted well for quite a few months now. Like how my mind overrides me. Like how I have white hairs on… Continue reading
A Delusional Predisposition 