A Delusional Predisposition

TRIGGER WARNING: mental illness topics discussed, adult language used throughout

weekly writings of daily life

with mental illness.

stigmas shattered.

  • Everything’s Different

    My memory is shot. I feel like my capacity to remember anything has been cut in half since I was in my twenties. And I couldn’t remember anything back then either. It feels like these psychosis symptoms leave holes. They… Continue reading

    Everything’s Different

  • There But Not Here

    Disappointments come in every shape and form. Failure, miscalculation, misfortune. They can make the future seem bleak in a millisecond. Whatever the situation was, it cycles over and over and over in my mind. I obsess and obsess and obsess.… Continue reading

    There But Not Here

  • Stupid Arthritis

    I’ve been in a foul mood all week. I don’t talk much about my physical issues on here. But I decided it’s time to do so. My physical pain makes my mind bounce off the walls. It helps my darkness… Continue reading

    Stupid Arthritis

  • Medications: Part Three

    Medications are filled with tons of stigma. Especially antipsychotics. Taking them is admitting that I need help. And I can’t do this life on my own. It’s stressful. It’s packed with shame. Especially when folks who don’t have to take… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Three

  • Homesick

    I’m noticing that my depression is rearing its ugly head. It’s surfacing pretty gradually this go-around. Sometimes it hits like a freight train though. It’s self loathing and doubt. It’s soul crushing shit. With the voices and everything that take… Continue reading

    Homesick

  • DBT and BPD

    I’ve been working on a DBT workbook that I ordered. DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It’s for people who basically, can’t control their emotions. Find out more about DBT here.  I started thinking about DBT again because I am… Continue reading

    DBT and BPD

  • Engage the Rage

    I think the type of anger I have is a little closer to rage. A thick, stifling, deep, dark red rage. It sometimes feels like my blood is literally boiling under my skin. Bubbling up at least. I can feel… Continue reading

    Engage the Rage

  • Dissociation and Memories

    I have an extremely difficult time remembering anything. Not just a few things in my life. Not just a couple of years. Most of them. I don’t remember much before the age of 12. Since then, there are really big… Continue reading

    Dissociation and Memories

  • Self Harm *Trigger Warning*

    I know this topic is very sensitive. I normally don’t put individual trigger warnings on my posts, but this one needs it. So, consider yourself warned. I have been writing off and on about this all week. I debated posting… Continue reading

    Self Harm *Trigger Warning*

  • Mutating Appropriately

    I met with the new-for-me NP at the mental health clinic I go to. The appointment went really well. I felt heard, finally. I was able to take in what was being said. I didn’t have a flood of uncontrollable… Continue reading

    Mutating Appropriately