Thought broadcast
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The Pains of Chronic Illness, and, of Course, Even More Doctor Appointments
How did I sleep and injure myself? How did I hurt myself, while I was sleeping? That is seriously ridiculous. My left hip is fucking killing me. It’s radiating into my lower leg, and into my lower back. It sucks.… Continue reading
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More Appointments, More Anxieties and Even More Medication Acceptance
This was absolutely wild… My parents told me this last weekend that apparently I played an entire season of basketball in the 6th grade. I have zero recollection of this. I mean, not one single memory. Now, I know I… Continue reading
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From the Doctors to the Banks and to the Dealerships
So, it’s Monday. It’s been a day. Up and down. It started alright, made a couple of phone calls – made an appointment with my pain management doctor for a follow up after my nano PRP injections at the end… Continue reading
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Mental and Physical Symptoms are Taking Over
I’ve been hearing shit this weekend still. Just like last week, most all of the “neighbors” are back. Fml. The “third floor neighbor” voices are here again. I saw a random guy – probably the new third floor neighbor’s son,… Continue reading
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Stress and Hallucinations
My anxiety has been out of control ever since the airbags randomly deployed in the Pilot at the end of March. I’m talking pretty much daily panic attacks. I’ve been using my TouchPoints constantly. I’ve been taking my Clonazepam and… Continue reading
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What I’ve Learned Advocating for Myself in Healthcare (and more!)
As down on myself as I get for not being social, I have been more social the past few months. I just haven’t really made any more friends. Which is fine right now. I’m not gonna get down on myself… Continue reading
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My Automatic Self Loathing Has Been Quelled
With that rheumatologist appointment last week… I was unpacking it in therapy on Wednesday this week. My therapist said how mindblowing it was. She said it was a horrible thing that happened, but at the same time, she was really… Continue reading
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Neutrality
So, I have a really, really tough time trying to “love” myself. This isn’t a new thing either. It’s not like I woke up this morning and realized this. I’ve hated myself for so many decades that the thought of… Continue reading
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Voices and Even More Appointments
I had a couple following me the other day. I smelled a thick fog of weed smoke as I was walking Bruce, at the front of the apartment complex. As I smelled it, and Bruce smelled the ground, the couple… Continue reading
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Being Social With Schizoaffective Disorder
I don’t know why I can’t just go out and about and be happy that someone wants to spend time with me. Oh wait, I do know why, it’s the voices. They’re always fucking shit up. Everytime I’m away from… Continue reading
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This Last Episode
Welp, I renewed my domain name and subscription and whatnot with WordPress today. I’ve been writing at least once a week for this blog since 2022. Part of me says why stop now? Keep bitching and moaning. So here I… Continue reading
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I Realized I was Depressed and Paranoid
I’m still upset at life. I still don’t know if I’m going to continue writing this blog or not. It’ll have been three years of it already in a few weeks. I haven’t decided if I’ll renew my domain name… Continue reading
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My Various History of Hallucinations and Delusions
This is a long entry, I hope you find it as interesting as I do. I’ve been listening to the subject matter more of the background hallucinations I hear. I realized some of these are called “internal auditory hallucinations” –… Continue reading
A Delusional Predisposition 