A Delusional Predisposition

hallucinations

  • Neutrality

    So, I have a really, really tough time trying to “love” myself. This isn’t a new thing either. It’s not like I woke up this morning and realized this. I’ve hated myself for so many decades that the thought of… Continue reading

    Neutrality

  • Navigating Trust and Friendships with Schizoaffective Disorder

    I’m feeling off this week. Socially, emotionally, off. I feel like there’s a part missing in my life. And it’s the social part. I want to be social. But I also completely dread it and don’t want to at all.… Continue reading

    Navigating Trust and Friendships with Schizoaffective Disorder

  • EMDR Work and a Nutritionist Appointment 

    I’ve been doing EMDR therapy with my one on one therapist for a while now. She’s been having me write down my triggers throughout the weeks. And I’ve noticed that as we go on, I’m getting triggered less and less.… Continue reading

    EMDR Work and a Nutritionist Appointment 

  • Voices and Even More Appointments 

    I had a couple following me the other day. I smelled a thick fog of weed smoke as I was walking Bruce, at the front of the apartment complex. As I smelled it, and Bruce smelled the ground, the couple… Continue reading

    Voices and Even More Appointments 

  • Food and Hallucinations (and More Doctor Appointments)

    I keep having weeks so busy that I have no time to write. I keep forgetting to fill out my mood app every day too. Then I have to go back and try to remember what was going on on… Continue reading

    Food and Hallucinations (and More Doctor Appointments)

  • EMDR and Pain and Memory

    I’m still in a lot of pain this week. My pain levels have been waking me up at night, every night. It’s quite exhausting. I’ve at least been able to take naps this week. I’m not always able to. But… Continue reading

    EMDR and Pain and Memory

  • Psychosis, EMDR, and Pain Levels

    The other day I was walking Bruce and I had a big visual hallucination. It was like the world was suddenly zooming out. I was looking down the sidewalk, and things were getting further away. Like in the cartoons. This… Continue reading

    Psychosis, EMDR, and Pain Levels

  • Schizoaffective Disorder and Money

    It’s been a slow moving week. I suppose that’s a good thing. I’ve been sorta unmotivated lately – unfocused. I can’t help but worry about the future. I’m paranoid about the next steps and what that looks like in my… Continue reading

    Schizoaffective Disorder and Money

  • C•PTSD and Trauma (Medical and Authoritative) 

    I’m 99.9% sure of my PTSD is actually C•PTSD.  I’ve never really given it much thought until this last weekend. I mean, I have, but I haven’t put that much thought into it. I guess I never really looked up… Continue reading

    C•PTSD and Trauma (Medical and Authoritative) 

  • Anesthetics Frustrations But Then a Surprisingly Good Visit With My Psych NP

    I’m angry this week. Frustrated is maybe a better word. I know it’s from the anesthetics last week. I know it is. It’s always like this. After every procedure. I really wish it wasn’t like this though. It’s super annoying.… Continue reading

    Anesthetics Frustrations But Then a Surprisingly Good Visit With My Psych NP

  • Being Social With Schizoaffective Disorder

    I don’t know why I can’t just go out and about and be happy that someone wants to spend time with me. Oh wait, I do know why, it’s the voices. They’re always fucking shit up. Everytime I’m away from… Continue reading

    Being Social With Schizoaffective Disorder

  • Capacity

    I was having a brunch date with someone Saturday (it went really well!) and he reminded me that people only have so much capacity to deal with things, or to be there for others. Whatever things those may be. Whatever… Continue reading

    Capacity

  • The Bug Situation and Being Emotional

    This is how my week started… It’s Monday, and I have been so incredibly, unbearably anxious and paranoid lately. Like, crying at least several times every single day, for the past several weeks. And I don’t know what to do… Continue reading

    The Bug Situation and Being Emotional

  • I’m Not Who I Once Was

    I used to freak the fuck out. Over react to everything. Screaming. Yelling. Texting people nonstop about my random issues and problems. I answered the phone today when I shouldn’t have. I was frustrated about my car air and vents… Continue reading

    I’m Not Who I Once Was

  • People Are Ridiculous

    It’s been a stupid, shitty week again. High pain levels, and night terrors practically every night. My pain and night terrors have been taking turns waking me up every stupid fucking night. I’m exhausted. Last week was a doozy too.… Continue reading

    People Are Ridiculous

  • I Don’t Think I’m Bipolar, And I’m Mindblown

    Again, I’m going to talk about my last psychotic episode. The one I had that ended last week, er, the week before, now. It lasted longer than I thought. Well, it started further back than I originally thought. I went… Continue reading

    I Don’t Think I’m Bipolar, And I’m Mindblown

  • After The Second Procedure

    So, I had my latest procedure, a vein ablation this last week, last Tuesday. They did the other GSV, in my right leg this time. And at the follow up ultrasound appointment last Friday, a week ago, I was told… Continue reading

    After The Second Procedure

  • The Difference Between A Manic and A Psychotic Episode

    I realized that I trailed off in the middle of my last entry. I started talking about how I got triggered and just sort of ended the entry after that, ha!  Sorry y’all! So, now I want to pick up… Continue reading

    The Difference Between A Manic and A Psychotic Episode

  • This Last Episode

    Welp, I renewed my domain name and subscription and whatnot with WordPress today.  I’ve been writing at least once a week for this blog since 2022. Part of me says why stop now? Keep bitching and moaning. So here I… Continue reading

    This Last Episode

  • The Difference Between Paranoia and Anxiety

    The past couple of weeks have been difficult. And last weekend was really hard. But I’ve been hanging out at my therapist’s office a lot. There’s an art room there that’s just open most of the day for people to… Continue reading

    The Difference Between Paranoia and Anxiety

  • I Realized I was Depressed and Paranoid

    I’m still upset at life. I still don’t know if I’m going to continue writing this blog or not. It’ll have been three years of it already in a few weeks. I haven’t decided if I’ll renew my domain name… Continue reading

    I Realized I was Depressed and Paranoid

  • My Various History of Hallucinations and Delusions

    This is a long entry, I hope you find it as interesting as I do. I’ve been listening to the subject matter more of the background hallucinations I hear. I realized some of these are called “internal auditory hallucinations” –… Continue reading

    My Various History of Hallucinations and Delusions

  • I Hate Arthritis

    I have this giant entry all written up on my auditory hallucinations that I was going to post today. It’s a continuation from last week. But I’ll post that next week, or maybe in a day or two. I have… Continue reading

    I Hate Arthritis

  • Parts of My Verbal Auditory Hallucinations

    I had a difficult realization over this last week. That most of the “neighbors” that I hear talking amongst themselves on my walks are still hallucinations. *sigh* I had noticed that there’s usually not one person outside when I hear… Continue reading

    Parts of My Verbal Auditory Hallucinations

  • I Had An Incident With My Now Ex-Therapist

    It was halfway through with my therapy session and I was in a slight conversational lull and suddenly Jessie, the therapist who’s quitting in two weeks, after being in the office for about six months, started talking about her leaving,… Continue reading

    I Had An Incident With My Now Ex-Therapist

  • Anxiety and Agitation

    I’ve been feeling very, I don’t know, annoyed this week. Very agitated and anxious are probably better descriptors. I’ve been thinking obsessively about going back to work. So much so that it’s been giving me anxiety attacks. I had one… Continue reading

    Anxiety and Agitation

  • Trusting Myself For The First Time

    All I’ve been doing the past few weeks is walking for my vein ablation recovery instructions. It’s been engulfing. Which is kinda nice because I feel like I haven’t had much time to think about a lot. Even though I… Continue reading

    Trusting Myself For The First Time

  • I’m Feeling Like Isolating

    I saw this meme quote thing the other day. It said something to the extent that trauma can make someone feel that they need to isolate. And I’ve been thinking about that a lot this week. I even talked about… Continue reading

    I’m Feeling Like Isolating

  • The First Vein Ablation

    This was an eventful week. I’ve been busy and tired, but good. Voices have been acting up but not terribly bad, they’ve just been mildly annoying. Just mainly while I’m out on walks, like they do. They did better again… Continue reading

    The First Vein Ablation

  • Thought Loss

    I’ve been dealing with a lot of thought loss the last few years. And it’s gotten better. But it’s much worse than it used to be. And I talk about this a lot. You know when you’re mid thought, mid… Continue reading

    Thought Loss

  • The Voices Lately

    The voices have been very tolerable lately. I haven’t been talking about them the last few entries and I figured I’d touch base with them this week. Things have been good – they’ve been quiet. But I’ve been taking my… Continue reading

    The Voices Lately

  • A Vein Ablation and Weight Loss

    I’m having a decent week, finally. After episodes of pain, psychosis, depression, anxiety, more pain, more psychosis, more depression and then even more pain and then even more psychosis and then even more anxiety, I can finally, finally breathe today.… Continue reading

    A Vein Ablation and Weight Loss

  • The Transitional Times

    I don’t know how I feel this week. Monday I was severely anxious. Tuesday I was in a terrible mood, but social. Wednesday I was withdrawn and was quite literally aching with loneliness. Thursday I was completely anxious all day… Continue reading

    The Transitional Times

  • My Therapy Journey

    I can’t even tell you how many therapists I’ve seen in my life. Dozens, easy. I used to think therapy was useless. What good does it do to talk to a stranger (who you’re paying) about my stupid life? It’s… Continue reading

    My Therapy Journey

  • Patterns of My Psychosis are Surfacing

    Holy shit, that’s it. That’s part of the prodromal phase for me. I pull away from people. I can see it now. People start annoying the shit out of me, for no reason. I suddenly hate getting messages and calls,… Continue reading

    Patterns of My Psychosis are Surfacing

  • After A Psychotic Episode

    I can’t think this week. My mind is fuzzy and foggy. (before I forget, I talk about self harm in here in regards to an epiphany, but now you have been warned) I have been teaching myself Spanish the past… Continue reading

    After A Psychotic Episode

  • How The Delusions and Hallucinations Engulf

    I got into a comment conversation with a fellow writer and decided to write an entry around it. In my last post I had some hallucination dialogue – some back and forth between the voices, and she asked me if… Continue reading

    How The Delusions and Hallucinations Engulf

  • The Ramblings of My Voices

    It’s Monday and the voices are still lingering. I may have to up my Paliperidone again. As of this week, I haven’t yet. I really don’t fucking want to. They’re telling me I’m living a lie, the voices are. That… Continue reading

    The Ramblings of My Voices

  • I Forgot That I Remembered It Wrong

    My brain feels shriveled after that psychotic episode this last week. I’m just now resurfacing. It’s Saturday and I still can’t think properly. My body is fucking killing me. I mean, I’ve been walking more lately – trying to lose… Continue reading

    I Forgot That I Remembered It Wrong

  • The Voices and Being Followed

    Mental illness is bizarre. When the Paliperidone first started to clear up the bulk of my voices last year, I felt like I was always around people. Granted, I worked retail at the time too, so I was. But even… Continue reading

    The Voices and Being Followed

  • ADHD and Medication Changes

    I’ve been feeling a bit better in my lumbar ablation recovery. Walking good and eating less. Trying to at least. This week has been decent with those types of things. Could be better. But it also could be a lot… Continue reading

    ADHD and Medication Changes

  • Hallucinations and an Ablation

    It’s Sunday afternoon and my back pain is making me nauseous. It’s 4:16pm and all i’ve had is a Red Bull and a Chobani Flip. Quite a stark contrast from the last few days. I hurt. My lower back feels… Continue reading

    Hallucinations and an Ablation

  • Physical Pain

    I don’t feel like writing this week. I’ve tried. I’ve written like six or seven half entires, trying to get something together for this blog this week. And I can’t seem to focus. It’s super rainy today. And it’s been… Continue reading

    Physical Pain

  • I’m No Longer Actively Hating Myself

    Welp, trump won. That fucking happened. I sure as hell didn’t vote for him. But that’s not what this entry is about, so I digress. I was in therapy on Thursday morning and Sean asked me what I was doing/thinking/feeling… Continue reading

    I’m No Longer Actively Hating Myself

  • Vacation

    I’m on the plane now to Seattle. I ‘m sitting here cramped into a seat becasue my ass is too fat, ha! The woman next to me is adjusting her position every five seconds and it’s annoying as hell. I’m… Continue reading

    Vacation

  • Inflammation

    As I write this my normally very narrow ankles are the size between a baseball and a softball. Both of them. My knees are swollen too and so are my shoulders and my back. I can feel them. I can… Continue reading

    Inflammation

  • Anxiety and Medications

    My anxiety has been horrible this week and it’s Sunday. I’m constantly on edge. Constantly worrying that something is about to go wrong. Be set ablaze. Crash. My Dad asked me where the anxiety stems from this weekend. That something… Continue reading

    Anxiety and Medications

  • Fire Anxiety

    I’m so paranoid of somethings. Fire is one of them. When I was a kid my brother and I literally were playing with matches and almost started a forest fire behind my parents house. Well, we did start a forest… Continue reading

    Fire Anxiety

  • Ignoring Certain Things

    I’ve been ignoring my physical health for a while now again. A few months. It’s just so hard to focus on anything with my medications being leveled out and my disability hearing and all of that being in limbo for… Continue reading

    Ignoring Certain Things

  • Anxiety and Approval

    I’ve had several panic attacks in the past week. Big panic attacks. So much so that I debated going to the ER with one of them. But I think that my disability appeals have finally been approved. I’m pretty sure… Continue reading

    Anxiety and Approval

  • Stability and PRN’s

    I thought my life was going alright while in psychosis a few years ago. I thought everyone else had the problems, not me. Besides, everyone was talking shit about me all the time. And I wasn’t able to put things… Continue reading

    Stability and PRN’s

  • Signs of an Episode

    There are a few things that are signs that a psychotic episode is going to happen or is happening to me. The more I think about it, I’m able to slowly put two and two together a bit better as… Continue reading

    Signs of an Episode

  • The Physical Effects of Antipsychotics: Part Two

    I know I was in some sort of psychotic episode the last week or five because now I don’t feel like I have anything to say. I feel boring, bland. I feel dull and uninteresting. I feel like I have… Continue reading

    The Physical Effects of Antipsychotics: Part Two

  • Reunited

    This week has been surprisingly good. I have recently reconnected this week with a great friend, and it’s been so so so nice to catch up and reunite. It feels good, having a friend. A good friend. A real friend,… Continue reading

    Reunited

  • Psych Visit and a Book

    I know I’ve been posting a lot the past week or so, I just feel like I have a lot to say and keep having ideas for posts, so I just keep writing. I remember my grandmother telling me once… Continue reading

    Psych Visit and a Book

  • Psychotic Episodes

    Psychosis is not well understood. It a giant ball of mystery. They don’t really know why it surfaces or how except for something about dopamine. Which makes sense to me because when a psych doc put me on Wellbutrin years… Continue reading

    Psychotic Episodes

  • Masking My Emotions And An Epiphany

    I noticed that after my therapist told me I didn’t fit the criteria for a manic or even a hypomanic episode, my depression has started creeping up with the elevated mood still here. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t understand… Continue reading

    Masking My Emotions And An Epiphany

  • The Effort is There

    I’m trying really hard to change. I am. I’m now taking my meds, I’m seeing a therapist weekly and have been for over two years now. I’m seeing a psychiatrist too, every two or three months for the past like,… Continue reading

    The Effort is There

  • Bipolar Rage

    I can’t keep doing the same things and expect things to be different. That’s literally insanity. I have been an oversharer most of my life. But that’s not me anymore. Well, rather, I don’t want to be that person anymore.… Continue reading

    Bipolar Rage

  • Breakthrough Psychotic Symptoms

    So, Thursday night last week I had some terrible breakthrough symptoms. I kept hearing my neighbor (of course),(surprise, surprise), who’s my friend down at the end of my building, talk about me to another neighbor. She kept talking about how… Continue reading

    Breakthrough Psychotic Symptoms

  • I Had Lost The Details

    I used to think most things were endless and unobtainable. Chaotic and confusing. Like the amount, or types, of birds in the air. There are too many to even start counting or naming. The fruits at the grocery store –… Continue reading

    I Had Lost The Details

  • Medications: Part Ten

    Today is the two year anniversary of A Delusional Predisposition. I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog that long. Kinda hard to believe. And what better way to bring in the new year than with a medication post. I… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Ten

  • The Day I Lost My Facebook To Hackers

    You just read it, it happened. That’s the whole story, really. Motherfuckers got all of my photos lost/disabled now and I’m so fucking pissed about it. I cried hard about it when it happened. And I totally self harmed too.… Continue reading

    The Day I Lost My Facebook To Hackers

  • Intrusive Thoughts and Suicidal Ideations

    I’ll put this trigger warning here; this entry is gritty, raw and dark. I encourage you to sit in the uncomfortableness, but, if you’re sensitive to reading about intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideations, I’d stop reading. There is some rough… Continue reading

    Intrusive Thoughts and Suicidal Ideations

  • Medications: Part Nine

    *TW: Self Harm* I had my hearing yesterday morning for disability, and I’ll have the official answer, or decision rather, in a few months. So I have done all of the things in my power to get this approved and… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Nine

  • The Five Year Mark

    On Tuesday this week my calendar in my phone alerted me of an event. I had asked, or rather, told my ex husband that I needed a divorce five years ago on Tuesday. It was a toxic waste site of… Continue reading

    The Five Year Mark

  • EMDR Therapy

    This week has been up and down. I’ve been going to a “life skills class”, which is a group at my therapist’s office. I’ve gone the past couple of Wednesday’s and I’ve really been liking it. We’ve been talking about… Continue reading

    EMDR Therapy

  • I Literally Can’t Control Myself

    When my symptoms pop up, my hallucinations and delusions, I lose control of myself, of my mind and body. Every night it happens and I quickly become paranoid, shake and mutter to myself because I’m hearing the voices. When I… Continue reading

    I Literally Can’t Control Myself

  • An Incomplete Puzzle

    The past couple weeks I’ve gone to a life skills class at my therapist’s office. They have an art room there too folks just hang out in. Sean, my therapist, actually runs the group and suggested I give it a… Continue reading

    An Incomplete Puzzle

  • Anxious With The Wait

    It’s been a strange feeling week. I’m so anxious for my disability hearing next month that it’s making me nauseous and so anxious I can barely stand to be around myself. I’m glad I get the opportunity to speak and… Continue reading

    Anxious With The Wait

  • Voices and a Theory

    This week has been bad and I’ve been struggling. I’ve been having horrible breakthrough symptoms this week, but today I feel a bit better. Yesterday was day four back on Haldol. I can feel it working, but it just makes… Continue reading

    Voices and a Theory

  • Sleep and Others

    There were more auditory hallucinations over this last weekend. They seemed to have drifted off throughout the week though. They got quieter. It was just a lot of mumbles and feeling like I’m in a crowd, or there’s a group… Continue reading

    Sleep and Others

  • Frustrated

    This week has been decent I guess. Some family was visiting and I got to hang out for a few hours with them, so that was nice. My symptoms haven’t been too bad but the whispers and voices have been… Continue reading

    Frustrated

  • Simulation and Situation

    It has been a tough couple of weeks. I’m caught up in something I can’t control and it’s driving me up the wall. It’s triggering. And my hallucinations have been louder. The shadows are thick and the little balls dart… Continue reading

    Simulation and Situation

  • Stress

    This week has been much, much better symptom wise for me. I’ve been able to flow smoothly today. Awaiting the ebb, but not holding my breath. My psychotic and depression symptoms have been few the past couple of days. On… Continue reading

    Stress

  • Medication Adjustment

    Well, I’ve been feeling better the past couple of days. Getting out from under the couch blankets to finally walk Bruce around yesterday and today was nice. My cough is still around but the wheezing has let up. I feel… Continue reading

    Medication Adjustment

  • Under the Weather

    I’ve had a terrible cold this week, so pardon me if this entry is not too terribly long or interesting. I honestly don’t have much to say I guess, I’ve been coughing and trying to rest, so we’ll see how… Continue reading

    Under the Weather

  • Trusting Myself

    I’ve been having symptoms kick up with my pain levels remaining quite high still. I also have an infection in a tooth of mine and am in need of a horribly helpful root canal. Boo. They’re just so uncomfortable. I… Continue reading

    Trusting Myself

  • Pain Levels and Depression Medication

    My inflammatory osteoarthritis hasn’t been letting me sleep at all this week. Well, it’s been six days now of not being able to stay asleep through even half the night. It’s terrible really. I’m exhausted and can’t sleep because my… Continue reading

    Pain Levels and Depression Medication

  • Being Too Much

    The radio noises don’t bother me too much, especially the music I hear. It doesn’t frighten me like the voices do. The murmurs that come along with the radio noises are not fun, and it makes me feel overstimulated with… Continue reading

    Being Too Much

  • A Thick Fatigue

    I have been feeling very, very “meh” lately. Not good. Not bad. In the middle. Sorta feeling blah and frustrated with myself. I haven’t been writing as much lately. Writing an entry is becoming a chore for me and I… Continue reading

    A Thick Fatigue

  • Dreams or Thoughts

    I keep having these recurring things in my dreams. I’m always carrying a backpack or bag that’s too way way way too heavy for me. Like, once it’s off my back it takes someone helping me to get it back… Continue reading

    Dreams or Thoughts

  • Imposter

    It’s been feeling like I don’t have much to write about the last few weeks. I’ve been posting still, but I’m back to once a week right now for the most part. I sometimes wonder if the pain that comes… Continue reading

    Imposter

  • Stability

    Stability is not always a given for me. I don’t think it’s a given for a lot of folks out there. I fluctuate back and forth between being lucid and not. And back and forth on my ability to be… Continue reading

    Stability

  • A Weekend to Remember

    I had a wonderful weekend last week. It was full of a wedding and blissful food and amazing, loving people.  It was terrific. I only really had one hour or so of symptoms, hearing the other people that are really… Continue reading

    A Weekend to Remember

  • Pain Levels

    My left knee is killing me today and has been for several days now. It burns, is very stiff, and spazzes and aches terribly every time I get up and walk around. It’s difficult to walk this week. And I… Continue reading

    Pain Levels

  • Childless

    Sometimes I regret not having kids. I never wanted any, but I feel like I should’ve over the years. There was a time, a couple of months, where my ex husband and I were thinking about it. He wanted kids.… Continue reading

    Childless

  • Scary Relief

    The voices are still here, in case you were wondering. I have been trying to focus on other things while they’re not as loud, but some days are better than others. And the last couple of days I’ve had some… Continue reading

    Scary Relief

  • Dissociation

    I do think there are parts of me that aren’t connected. I do feel like I bounce back and forth between myself but at different ages. Ages where something happened or was a turning point in my life. When I… Continue reading

    Dissociation

  • Shame

    I think one of the toughest things with mental illness for me is overcoming the shame of not being a “typical” person. Because I don’t like the word “normal” unless I’m dealing with the smell of food. Like does this… Continue reading

    Shame

  • The Impact

    I’ve been having more good days than bad since getting used to the Haldol. Voices and visual hallucinations have been quiet and few, further between. It’s so fucking refreshing. My hallucinations have been showing up in smaller ways. And my… Continue reading

    The Impact

  • Behavior

    I’m embarrassed about my behavior in the past. I know it’s not good to stare into the past, but I gotta learn my patterns somehow – and reflection is good for that. I was just thinking about all of the… Continue reading

    Behavior

  • More Auditory Hallucinations

    There have still been some breakthrough symptoms being on the Haldol now. But there nowhere near where they were. And they’re showing up a little differently than they have been. The past couple of nights – after it gets dark… Continue reading

    More Auditory Hallucinations

  • Stability Loading…

    I’m blown away by how stable I feel. Tired. But stable. Surprisingly stable. I was supposed to get my Invega injection on Friday last week, but the nurse left me a voicemail saying they had to reschedule me for after… Continue reading

    Stability Loading…

  • Anything Goes

    Now that I’m getting used to the Haldol, I’ve been able to think again today. And clearer than I’ve been able to yet, which is such a welcomed and very promising feeling. Last week was no good for that, but… Continue reading

    Anything Goes

  • Medications: Part Seven

    I had to wait the weekend to hear back from my psych NP about a medication change. I had an appointment last Tuesday, but the provider canceled it last minute and I was rescheduled for over a month out. It’s… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Seven

  • It’s Tiring: Part Two

    I was supposed to have an appointment with my prescriber (my psych NP) for my mental illness medications yesterday, but he called out and I got rescheduled. I did get my Invega injection at least. It was three days early… Continue reading

    It’s Tiring: Part Two

  • Surveillance and Thought Broadcasting Delusions

    I’m so tired of having constant symptoms. It’s been about a month now since I had the hallucinations of my third floor neighbors and I’m struggling. And I keep having fucking symptoms. Paranoia especially. I don’t know what to write… Continue reading

    Surveillance and Thought Broadcasting Delusions

  • The People my Delusions Pick

    I’m friends with my upstairs neighbor. But the ones on the third floor are ingrained in my hallucinations and delusions. I have no idea why there is such a drastic difference in my perception of the two different apartments and… Continue reading

    The People my Delusions Pick

  • Blurry Noises

    I’ve been hearing crowd murmurs for the last few days again. They first surfaced when I was 19 years old. I remember the night that I first heard them. I thought It was paranormal, of course. This hallucination sounds like… Continue reading

    Blurry Noises