A Delusional Predisposition

TRIGGER WARNING: mental illness topics discussed, adult language used throughout

weekly writings of daily life

with mental illness.

stigmas shattered.

  • Complicated Phrasing

    There’s that phrase that says you can’t love anyone until you love yourself. And I think that’s bullshit. I have loved many people while not even knowing how to like myself, let alone love myself. Hell, I just barely started… Continue reading

    Complicated Phrasing

  • The Foot Shuffle and Other Unhelpful Side Effects

    There are several side effects from the Haldol that I’ve been dealing with. They’re pretty frustrating and annoying all at once. I know I’ve talked about the drooling. That’s still happening. It sneaks out of the corners of my mouth… Continue reading

    The Foot Shuffle and Other Unhelpful Side Effects

  • Childless

    Sometimes I regret not having kids. I never wanted any, but I feel like I should’ve over the years. There was a time, a couple of months, where my ex husband and I were thinking about it. He wanted kids.… Continue reading

    Childless

  • Scary Relief

    The voices are still here, in case you were wondering. I have been trying to focus on other things while they’re not as loud, but some days are better than others. And the last couple of days I’ve had some… Continue reading

    Scary Relief

  • Dissociation

    I do think there are parts of me that aren’t connected. I do feel like I bounce back and forth between myself but at different ages. Ages where something happened or was a turning point in my life. When I… Continue reading

    Dissociation

  • Shame

    I think one of the toughest things with mental illness for me is overcoming the shame of not being a “typical” person. Because I don’t like the word “normal” unless I’m dealing with the smell of food. Like does this… Continue reading

    Shame

  • My Journey With Talk Therapy

    I have had a long, tumultuous, relationship with talk therapy. I love it. I hate it. It’s alright. Fuck nah. Just to go back to it’s alright, again. I’ve run randomly through all of these feelings, sometimes lapping over another,… Continue reading

    My Journey With Talk Therapy

  • Negative Symptoms

    Negative symptoms are just as frustrating and scary as  positive symptoms. I know I talk mainly about the positive ones, hallucinations, delusions and such. But negative symptoms are just as pesky and shitty as their counterpart. I’ve talked about it… Continue reading

    Negative Symptoms

  • Self Talk

    I have been starting to do more positive self talk this week. Just to myself, in my head. I’ve been really trying to tell myself that I’m a good person. And I deserve to take care of myself. That I… Continue reading

    Self Talk

  • The Impact

    I’ve been having more good days than bad since getting used to the Haldol. Voices and visual hallucinations have been quiet and few, further between. It’s so fucking refreshing. My hallucinations have been showing up in smaller ways. And my… Continue reading

    The Impact