tired
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Dating & Other Fears
I’m having these physical responses to dating. Like the first one I was so anxious about the lack of conversation, I started to break out in a sweat. Or maybe that was from the real fucking crowded restaurant we were… Continue reading
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Signs of an Episode
There are a few things that are signs that a psychotic episode is going to happen or is happening to me. The more I think about it, I’m able to slowly put two and two together a bit better as… Continue reading
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The Physical Effects of Antipsychotics: Part Two
I know I was in some sort of psychotic episode the last week or five because now I don’t feel like I have anything to say. I feel boring, bland. I feel dull and uninteresting. I feel like I have… Continue reading
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Medications: Part Ten
Today is the two year anniversary of A Delusional Predisposition. I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog that long. Kinda hard to believe. And what better way to bring in the new year than with a medication post. I… Continue reading
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Medication Adherence
It’s like one good thing happens and then a bunch of terrible things follow suit. I didn’t have therapy last week because of the fourth of July holiday was that same day. Today, Thursday, 40 min before our session, my… Continue reading
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The Day I Lost My Facebook To Hackers
You just read it, it happened. That’s the whole story, really. Motherfuckers got all of my photos lost/disabled now and I’m so fucking pissed about it. I cried hard about it when it happened. And I totally self harmed too.… Continue reading
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Intrusive Thoughts and Suicidal Ideations
I’ll put this trigger warning here; this entry is gritty, raw and dark. I encourage you to sit in the uncomfortableness, but, if you’re sensitive to reading about intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideations, I’d stop reading. There is some rough… Continue reading
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Under the Weather
I’ve had a terrible cold this week, so pardon me if this entry is not too terribly long or interesting. I honestly don’t have much to say I guess, I’ve been coughing and trying to rest, so we’ll see how… Continue reading
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Pain Levels and Depression Medication
My inflammatory osteoarthritis hasn’t been letting me sleep at all this week. Well, it’s been six days now of not being able to stay asleep through even half the night. It’s terrible really. I’m exhausted and can’t sleep because my… Continue reading
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Dreams or Thoughts
I keep having these recurring things in my dreams. I’m always carrying a backpack or bag that’s too way way way too heavy for me. Like, once it’s off my back it takes someone helping me to get it back… Continue reading
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Debbie Downer
I didn’t go to the gym again yesterday. I didn’t want to. Didn’t feel like it. It’s been a rough week. I did go to my schizophrenia support group online Thursday night though. So that helped a little bit. I… Continue reading
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It’s Tiring
So I apologized to my neighbor today about my explosion yesterday and she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about. Maybe I made it all up. Or she was drunk like she gets. But she literally… Continue reading
