A Delusional Predisposition

food

  • My Rheumatologist Appointment Went Terribly…

    It is my birthday week. I had a good time besides a shitty appointment with my rheumatologist, who will no longer be my doctor now. I’ll get into it. Number one his office is a little over 40 minutes away… Continue reading

    My Rheumatologist Appointment Went Terribly…

  • Memories and a Reaction

    This week went well. Just like the last several weeks. It’s bizarre really. To have this many good days in a row. I honestly think the last time this happened, the last time I had this many good days in… Continue reading

    Memories and a Reaction

  • My Changes and a Disclaimer

    I haven’t been having many symptoms lately. It’s scary honestly. I don’t know when they’ll surface again. It’s like I’m on a rollercoaster, right at the top of a big hill, after you’ve gotten past all the clicks, and you… Continue reading

    My Changes and a Disclaimer

  • Supplements, Diet, and my Mental Health

    The Niacin (Vitamin B3) and Vitamin C are working really well to help curb my hallucinations and delusions. So well that I cut my Haloperidol completely out last Friday. The withdrawal of that was fucking terrible. Even though I had… Continue reading

    Supplements, Diet, and my Mental Health

  • Weight and Hallucinations

    I was down last week. That’s why I didn’t really write an entry. That and I was busy. There’s someone in my life who keeps bringing up my weight. And I don’t think they mean to hurt me, but they’re… Continue reading

    Weight and Hallucinations

  • EMDR Work and a Nutritionist Appointment 

    I’ve been doing EMDR therapy with my one on one therapist for a while now. She’s been having me write down my triggers throughout the weeks. And I’ve noticed that as we go on, I’m getting triggered less and less.… Continue reading

    EMDR Work and a Nutritionist Appointment 

  • Food and Hallucinations (and More Doctor Appointments)

    I keep having weeks so busy that I have no time to write. I keep forgetting to fill out my mood app every day too. Then I have to go back and try to remember what was going on on… Continue reading

    Food and Hallucinations (and More Doctor Appointments)

  • The Difference Between A Manic and A Psychotic Episode

    I realized that I trailed off in the middle of my last entry. I started talking about how I got triggered and just sort of ended the entry after that, ha!  Sorry y’all! So, now I want to pick up… Continue reading

    The Difference Between A Manic and A Psychotic Episode

  • This Last Episode

    Welp, I renewed my domain name and subscription and whatnot with WordPress today.  I’ve been writing at least once a week for this blog since 2022. Part of me says why stop now? Keep bitching and moaning. So here I… Continue reading

    This Last Episode

  • A Vein Ablation and Weight Loss

    I’m having a decent week, finally. After episodes of pain, psychosis, depression, anxiety, more pain, more psychosis, more depression and then even more pain and then even more psychosis and then even more anxiety, I can finally, finally breathe today.… Continue reading

    A Vein Ablation and Weight Loss

  • ADHD and Medication Changes

    I’ve been feeling a bit better in my lumbar ablation recovery. Walking good and eating less. Trying to at least. This week has been decent with those types of things. Could be better. But it also could be a lot… Continue reading

    ADHD and Medication Changes

  • My Eating is an Addiction

    My eating is an addiction. I want that immediate pleasure from food. I want that instant satisfaction. And I wanted it yesterday. And every day I wake up telling myself that today is going to be the day where I… Continue reading

    My Eating is an Addiction

  • Pain, Inflammation, and a Crappy U.S. Doctor

    I’m in so much pain. So. Much. Pain. And it feels like no one cares. I know people do, but I hate complaining about it at the same time so I try really hard not to. But I’ve been crying… Continue reading

    Pain, Inflammation, and a Crappy U.S. Doctor

  • Medications: Part Twelve

    I’m coming off of my Buspirone this weekend. Fuck that shit. I’m sick of it. It doesn’t work. I’m sick of the medication fillers that puff my body up. That makes my vision blurry. That makes my body feel stagnant… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Twelve

  • Weight Gain Sucks

    I’ve been better about writing this week. I just seemingly can’t write anything I’d like to post. So this is me giving it yet another shot with this entry. Hopefully this one will be the winner. My weight is getting… Continue reading

    Weight Gain Sucks

  • Ignoring Certain Things

    I’ve been ignoring my physical health for a while now again. A few months. It’s just so hard to focus on anything with my medications being leveled out and my disability hearing and all of that being in limbo for… Continue reading

    Ignoring Certain Things

  • My Relationship With Food

    I’ve always used food to cover up my feelings. As a coping mechanism. A way to forget what I was so miserable about. I used to tell myself that I don’t use it that way. That food wasn’t an escape.… Continue reading

    My Relationship With Food