A Delusional Predisposition

TRIGGER WARNING: mental illness topics discussed, adult language used throughout

weekly writings of daily life

with mental illness.

stigmas shattered.

  • Hallucinations and an Ablation

    It’s Sunday afternoon and my back pain is making me nauseous. It’s 4:16pm and all i’ve had is a Red Bull and a Chobani Flip. Quite a stark contrast from the last few days. I hurt. My lower back feels… Continue reading

    Hallucinations and an Ablation

  • My Eating is an Addiction

    My eating is an addiction. I want that immediate pleasure from food. I want that instant satisfaction. And I wanted it yesterday. And every day I wake up telling myself that today is going to be the day where I… Continue reading

    My Eating is an Addiction

  • Pain, Inflammation, and a Crappy U.S. Doctor

    I’m in so much pain. So. Much. Pain. And it feels like no one cares. I know people do, but I hate complaining about it at the same time so I try really hard not to. But I’ve been crying… Continue reading

    Pain, Inflammation, and a Crappy U.S. Doctor

  • The Intensity of Inflammation

    I had been off Prozac for about a week, week and a half, before starting back up on the 20mg capsules yesterday (it’s Tuesday) I can’t do life without a SSRI. Fuck that bullshit. I have some capsules left, so… Continue reading

    The Intensity of Inflammation

  • Physical Pain

    I don’t feel like writing this week. I’ve tried. I’ve written like six or seven half entires, trying to get something together for this blog this week. And I can’t seem to focus. It’s super rainy today. And it’s been… Continue reading

    Physical Pain

  • Weight and Sweat

    I just noticed I’ve been avoiding taking my picture again lately. I know I hate how heavy I am again. I’ve gained what feels like a ton of weight back after losing 100lbs. It’s not a ton, but I have… Continue reading

    Weight and Sweat

  • Hoping I Don’t Crash

    I got one of the sun shine mimicking lightbulbs. Well, technically it’s a two pack. And I put one in my lamp in the living room the other day and really like it so far. I was hoping it’d be… Continue reading

    Hoping I Don’t Crash

  • Medication Change, Continued

    The medication change is going. Not well, not bad, not great, just going. I don’t know what I expected to feel besides something different. I decided to cut my antipsychotic in half on top of everything else. I know what… Continue reading

    Medication Change, Continued

  • Medications: Part Twelve

    I’m coming off of my Buspirone this weekend. Fuck that shit. I’m sick of it. It doesn’t work. I’m sick of the medication fillers that puff my body up. That makes my vision blurry. That makes my body feel stagnant… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Twelve

  • Weight Gain Sucks

    I’ve been better about writing this week. I just seemingly can’t write anything I’d like to post. So this is me giving it yet another shot with this entry. Hopefully this one will be the winner. My weight is getting… Continue reading

    Weight Gain Sucks