A Delusional Predisposition

TRIGGER WARNING: mental illness topics discussed, adult language used throughout

weekly writings of daily life

with mental illness.

stigmas shattered.

  • Random Surfacing

    The voices never really go away. I’ve been having a good week, but they’re still there. As frustrating as that is. They get worse at night. Once it hits the time where the sun starts to go down, it’s like… Continue reading

    Random Surfacing

  • Visual Hallucinations

    I’m having a hard time letting myself just be today. I’m tired. Which probably doesn’t help. I feel like I should be doing more of something. But I don’t know what. And I don’t have the energy right now, anyway.… Continue reading

    Visual Hallucinations

  • Medications: Part Six

    I was just sitting here thinking and realized that my having a better mood is directly coinciding with the rate at which my immunosuppressants for my arthritis have been working. It’s been about eight weeks of the weekly methotrexate and… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Six

  • My Relationship With Food

    I’ve always used food to cover up my feelings. As a coping mechanism. A way to forget what I was so miserable about. I used to tell myself that I don’t use it that way. That food wasn’t an escape.… Continue reading

    My Relationship With Food

  • Reframing

    I’ve been feeling good the past week. So good I’m on edge waiting for my symptoms to take hold again. It makes me antsy when I have several decent days in a row like I have been this week. Wait,… Continue reading

    Reframing

  • Self Care

    I’m still struggling with the emptiness. It’s so abundant. My symptoms of hallucinations and delusions have been very quiet the past several days. It’s odd because it’s not that I miss them when they’re gone. It’s just that, from everywhere,… Continue reading

    Self Care

  • Empty

    I’ve been feeling very empty lately. Like, unable to see or feel much joy. I’ve been watching shows like Reno911! and News Radio to keep it light and non thinky. Everything’s been too much. And that’s frustrating because everything is… Continue reading

    Empty

  • I Have to Balance

    I was wondering about my symptoms that broke through last week. Once they started to quiet a little, I could think again. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since it happened actually. And I’m pretty sure that the recent… Continue reading

    I Have to Balance

  • The Wash and Fade

    I’ve been feeling very, very blah this week. My Invega injection makes me so tired now that I don’t know what to do. I was resting most of this week because i couldn’t do anything else. And that feeling gets… Continue reading

    The Wash and Fade

  • Bouncing Between Delusions (and Hallucinations)

    I got my Invega injection today. And I honestly couldn’t wait for it. I’ve been having some breakthrough symptoms this last weekend. And last week. It felt like all the peace I had with the six or so day run… Continue reading

    Bouncing Between Delusions (and Hallucinations)