A Delusional Predisposition


TRIGGER WARNING: mental illness topics discussed, adult language used throughout


weekly writings of daily life

with mental illness.

stigmas shattered.



  • Psychotic Episodes

    Psychosis is not well understood. It a giant ball of mystery. They don’t really know why it surfaces or how except for something about dopamine. Which makes sense to me because when a psych doc put me on Wellbutrin years… Continue reading

    Psychotic Episodes
  • Masking My Emotions And An Epiphany

    I noticed that after my therapist told me I didn’t fit the criteria for a manic or even a hypomanic episode, my depression has started creeping up with the elevated mood still here. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t understand… Continue reading

    Masking My Emotions And An Epiphany
  • The Effort is There

    I’m trying really hard to change. I am. I’m now taking my meds, I’m seeing a therapist weekly and have been for over two years now. I’m seeing a psychiatrist too, every two or three months for the past like,… Continue reading

    The Effort is There
  • Bipolar Rage

    I can’t keep doing the same things and expect things to be different. That’s literally insanity. I have been an oversharer most of my life. But that’s not me anymore. Well, rather, I don’t want to be that person anymore.… Continue reading

    Bipolar Rage
  • Breakthrough Psychotic Symptoms

    So, Thursday night last week I had some terrible breakthrough symptoms. I kept hearing my neighbor (of course),(surprise, surprise), who’s my friend down at the end of my building, talk about me to another neighbor. She kept talking about how… Continue reading

    Breakthrough Psychotic Symptoms
  • I Had Lost The Details

    I used to think most things were endless and unobtainable. Chaotic and confusing. Like the amount, or types, of birds in the air. There are too many to even start counting or naming. The fruits at the grocery store –… Continue reading

    I Had Lost The Details
  • Medications: Part Ten

    Today is the two year anniversary of A Delusional Predisposition. I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog that long. Kinda hard to believe. And what better way to bring in the new year than with a medication post. I… Continue reading

    Medications: Part Ten
  • Medication Adherence

    It’s like one good thing happens and then a bunch of terrible things follow suit. I didn’t have therapy last week because of the fourth of July holiday was that same day. Today, Thursday, 40 min before our session, my… Continue reading

    Medication Adherence
  • The Day I Lost My Facebook To Hackers

    You just read it, it happened. That’s the whole story, really. Motherfuckers got all of my photos lost/disabled now and I’m so fucking pissed about it. I cried hard about it when it happened. And I totally self harmed too.… Continue reading

    The Day I Lost My Facebook To Hackers
  • Intrusive Thoughts and Suicidal Ideations

    I’ll put this trigger warning here; this entry is gritty, raw and dark. I encourage you to sit in the uncomfortableness, but, if you’re sensitive to reading about intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideations, I’d stop reading. There is some rough… Continue reading

    Intrusive Thoughts and Suicidal Ideations